Fifth Third Bancorp, the smug Midwest Goliath masquerading as your friendly neighbourhood bank, is nothing but a festering pile of corporate garbage. Headquartered in Cincinnati, this outfit rakes in billions while screwing over the little guy with a grin. They’ve got branches sprawling across the US, peddling loans, credit cards, and all the usual financial snake oil, but dig a little deeper and you’ll find a trail of scandals that would make even the most jaded cynic spit out their coffee. From faking accounts to repossessing cars on bogus grounds, these bastards have been caught with their hands in the cookie jar time and again, leaving customers broke, furious, and wondering how the hell this is still allowed. And now, as if their own mess wasn’t enough, they’re knee-deep in the Cummins ecosystem – yeah, that polluting engine giant with its own laundry list of horrors chronicled on tcap.blog. Fifth Third holds a hefty stake in Cummins Inc., clocking in at around 90,272 shares valued at roughly $29.6 million as of mid-2025. Just another tainted cog in the machine, propping up a company that’s no stranger to greenwashing and ethical train wrecks, without me needing to rehash the details already skewered elsewhere on our illustrious blog.

This isn’t some polished PR takedown – it’s the truth, pieced together from regulatory slaps, lawsuits, and the endless gripes of pissed-off customers. Fifth Third’s executives swan around touting “community values” while their practices scream greed. Fuck that. Let’s get out our shovels and find the corpses.

The Fake Accounts Sham: A Wells Fargo Wannabe

Remember when Wells Fargo got crucified for opening millions of unauthorised accounts? Well, Fifth Third decided to play copycat, allegedly shoving fake accounts down customers’ throats to hit sales targets. Back in 2020, the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB) sued the bank for misleading consumers, violating fair credit laws, and enrolling folks in services they never asked for. It was all part of an aggressive “cross-sell” strategy that pressured employees to upsell like their jobs depended on it – which they probably did.

Fast-forward to 2024, and the CFPB finally hammered them with a $20 million fine. Fifteen million for the bogus accounts scandal, where staff allegedly opened unauthorised profiles between 2010 and 2016, racking up fees on unsuspecting victims. The other five million? For forcing unnecessary car insurance on borrowers who already had coverage, leading to illegal charges and nearly 1,000 wrongful repossessions from 2011 to 2020. These pricks allegedly knew about the risks but ignored them, all to pad their bonuses. Customers lost their vehicles, their savings got drained, and Fifth Third? They settled without admitting guilt, of course. Outrageous doesn’t even cover it – it’s theft in a suit.

Discriminatory Lending: Screwing Minorities for Profit

Fifth Third’s dirt doesn’t stop at fake accounts. In 2015, the CFPB and Department of Justice nailed them for discriminatory auto lending practices. Allegedly, the bank allowed dealers to jack up interest rates on loans for Black and Hispanic borrowers, charging them more than white customers for the same credit risk. This wasn’t some oversight – it was systemic, baked into their pricing model.

The settlement? A measly $18 million in redress for affected borrowers, plus $3 million for credit card deceptions where they allegedly misled people into unwanted add-ons. Fifth Third paid up, promised to clean house, but here we are years later, and the stink lingers. How many families got fucked over by higher payments just because of their skin colour? It’s not just bad business – it’s goddamn discriminatory, and it shows the bank’s true colours: profit over people, every time.

Accounting Shenanigans: Misleading Investors in a Crisis

Flash back to the 2008 financial meltdown – while the world burned, Fifth Third was allegedly cooking the books to look prettier. In 2013, the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) charged the bank and its former CFO, Daniel Poston, with improper accounting of $1.5 billion in commercial real estate loans. They allegedly delayed recognising massive losses, misleading investors about the bank’s health during a time of “significant upheaval and financial distress.”

Fifth Third coughed up $6.5 million in penalties, Poston paid $100,000 personally and got suspended from practising as an accountant. No jail time, naturally – just a slap on the wrist for what amounts to fraud. These assholes played fast and loose with the truth, risking everyone’s money to protect their image. If that’s not the epitome of corporate arrogance, what is?

Overdraft and Fee Gouging: Bleeding Customers Dry

Fifth Third has a special talent for turning everyday banking into a fee-feeding frenzy. Customers have long complained about the bank’s alleged practice of reordering transactions – processing larger debits first to trigger multiple overdraft fees on smaller ones. It’s a sneaky trick that maximises penalties, hitting low-income folks hardest.

One class action settled for $9.5 million, offering up to three times the overdraft fees back to victims. Another lawsuit over “Early Access” loans – short-term cash advances – claims the bank misrepresented APRs, allegedly charging up to 365% more than advertised. That’s Klopfenstein v. Fifth Third Bank, still grinding through the courts. Then there’s the $5.2 million ATM fees settlement, where they allegedly dinged customers improperly for out-of-network inquiries.

And don’t get me started on cheque fraud refusals. In 2024, reports surfaced of the bank allegedly failing to detect altered cheques, then refusing reimbursements under bogus 24-hour reporting rules. A Cincinnati lawyer’s firm got hit, and Fifth Third allegedly stonewalled them, shifting blame despite clear lapses in security. It’s not protection – it’s predation.

Privacy Breaches and Security Fiascos

In a world where data is gold, Fifth Third treats it like trash. They settled a whopping $50 million in a 2022 lawsuit over allegedly recording customer calls without consent, violating privacy laws. That’s “unprecedented,” according to the plaintiffs’ lawyers – and rightly so. Who knows how many conversations got snooped on?

Fast-forward to 2025, and security woes persist. One customer reported unauthorised access to another’s account via a linked phone number, potentially exposing funds. The bank demanded an in-person fix, but incidents like this scream incompetence. Add in ongoing complaints about fraud reimbursements, and it’s clear: Fifth Third’s security is a joke, leaving customers vulnerable while they rake in the dough.

Ethical Flip-Flops and Corporate Hypocrisy

Fifth Third loves to tout its philanthropy, but actions speak louder. In 2020, they pulled $3 million from Florida’s school voucher program after revelations that participating schools discriminated against LGBTQ+ folks. Noble? Sure, but it sparked backlash from conservatives, and the bank waffled under pressure.

Post-2017 tax cuts, they faced heat for prioritising $3 billion in stock buybacks over meaningful wage hikes – just $48 million in bonuses and raises after pocketing billions in relief. Trump praised them for a minimum wage bump to $15, but critics called it crumbs compared to shareholder payouts. It’s classic corporate sleight-of-hand: virtue-signal while hoarding the wealth.

The Cummins Connection: Another Layer of Filth

And here’s the kicker – Fifth Third isn’t just rotten on its own. As a significant investor in Cummins Inc., with those 90,272 shares worth about $29.6 million, they’re propping up another corporate offender. Cummins has its own parade of controversies, from emissions scandals to greenwashing bullshit, all dissected on here without pulling punches. Fifth Third’s stake makes them complicit, just another greasy link in a chain of ethical failures. Why sink money into a polluter with a rap sheet? Because profits don’t care about the planet or people.

In the end, Fifth Third Bancorp embodies everything wrong with modern banking: greed unchecked, customers as collateral damage, and regulators playing catch-up. These fuckers have paid over $100 million in fines and settlements, yet they’re still standing, still screwing. It’s infuriating, it’s systemic, and it’s time we called it out for the sham it is.

Lee Thompson – Founder, The Cummins Accountability Project

Shareholder Spotlight : Fifth Third Bancorp – The Discarded Shit in the Dog Walk of Life