Let’s get one thing straight right off the bat – the world of high-end private banking isn’t some polished, genteel affair where suited pricks sip cognac and pat each other on the back for being oh-so-clever with other people’s money. No, it’s a grubby, back-alley hustle where outfits like Union Bancaire Privée (UBP SA) – that smug Swiss bastion founded back in 1969 by Edgar de Picciotto – peddle their services to the ultra-rich, all while dipping their fingers into every dodgy pie they can find. We’re talking tax dodges that would make a mobster blush, entanglements with colossal frauds, and a casual disregard for the little guy that borders on the fucking criminal. And now, to top it off, they’ve got their hooks into Cummins Inc., ethical vacuums with their own steaming pile of controversies. Yes, UBP is confirmed as a Cummins investor, holding 17,747 shares worth about $5.3 million as of their latest filing. It’s not a massive stake, but it’s enough to make them yet another tainted cog in the Cummins ecosystem – a nod to the litany of scandals already dissected on tcap.blog, that relentless watchdog shining a light on corporate filth without pulling punches.

UBP likes to parade itself as a family-run powerhouse, now helmed by Guy de Picciotto after his old man’s passing in 2016, managing over CHF 150 billion in assets. But peel back the veneer, and what you find is a history riddled with fines, settlements, and accusations that scream incompetence at best, outright complicity at worst. These aren’t isolated slips; they’re a pattern, a goddamn blueprint for how to game the system while the rest of us foot the bill. It’s enough to make your blood boil – how these bankers sleep at night, I’ll never know, but it probably involves silk sheets and zero conscience.

The Tax Evasion Fiasco: Helping Yanks Hide Their Loot

Picture this: while honest folks are scraping by, paying their dues to Uncle Sam, UBP was busy orchestrating a symphony of secrecy for wealthy Americans looking to stiff the taxman. Back in 2016, the U.S. Department of Justice came knocking, and UBP had to cough up a whopping $187.8 million to dodge prosecution under their Swiss Bank Program. They admitted to managing nearly 3,000 U.S.-related accounts holding around $5 billion, many undeclared and shielded by numbered accounts, code names, and sham entities designed to obscure ownership. It’s the kind of shit that reeks of old-school Swiss banking stereotypes – neutral on the surface, rotten to the core underneath.

But wait, it gets worse. In 2020, they had to pony up an extra $14 million after ‘discovering’ 98 more undeclared accounts they’d conveniently overlooked in the original deal. And just last year, in 2023, the U.S. Senate Finance Committee fired off a scathing letter to CEO Guy de Picciotto, questioning whether UBP was still up to its old tricks, potentially violating the terms of their non-prosecution agreement. Allegedly, they’re still facilitating tax evasion, turning a blind eye to red flags that any half-decent compliance officer should spot from a mile away. Outrageous? You bet your arse it is. This isn’t just a slap on the wrist; it’s a systemic failure that cost U.S. taxpayers millions in lost revenue, all so some fat cats could hoard more wealth.

Entangled in the Madoff Mess: Billions Down the Drain

If the tax stuff wasn’t enough to churn your stomach, let’s dive into UBP’s disastrous fling with Bernie Madoff, the Ponzi scheme kingpin whose $50 billion fraud imploded in 2008. UBP clients got hammered, with exposures estimated at $700 million through feeder funds like M-Invest. The bank was accused of skimping on due diligence, ignoring glaring warning signs about Madoff’s too-good-to-be-true returns. We’re talking consistent profits in volatile markets, opaque operations – red flags waving like mad, yet UBP kept funnelling cash his way.

In a half-arsed attempt at damage control, UBP offered to compensate affected clients for 50% of their initial investments, but only if they stuck around as clients. Generous? Hardly – it was a cynical ploy to retain assets amid the fallout. By 2010, they settled with the Madoff bankruptcy trustee for up to $500 million, resolving claims that UBP had profited as a ‘net winner’ from the scheme. Founder Edgar de Picciotto, who stayed on as chairman, oversaw this mess, though no personal charges stuck to him. The whole episode forced a brutal restructuring under Guy de Picciotto, a period he later described as one of ‘blood, sweat, and tears’ – spare me the violins, mate; your clients were the ones truly bleeding.

The Class Action Backlash: Fiduciary Duties? What Fiduciary Duties?

The Madoff debacle didn’t just fade away; it spawned lawsuits that exposed UBP’s alleged negligence in stark detail. In 2009, investors slapped the bank, its asset management arm, and officers like Michael de Picciotto and Christophe Bernard with a class action, claiming breaches of fiduciary duties by steering funds into Madoff without proper oversight. The complaint painted a picture of a bank more interested in raking in fees than protecting client cash, promoting Madoff-linked products despite the risks.

This wasn’t some fringe gripe; it was part of a broader wave of litigation against feeder funds that fed the Ponzi beast. UBP’s involvement allegedly prioritised profits over prudence, leaving investors high and dry when the house of cards collapsed. It’s the kind of betrayal that makes you want to smash something – these bastards were supposed to be guardians of wealth, not enablers of fraud.

The Saad Group Snafu: Middle Eastern Mayhem

Fast forward to 2020, and UBP finds itself mired in the fallout from the Saad Group scandal, a massive Saudi fraud involving asset misappropriation and what some call the biggest Ponzi scheme in history. The bank faced a hefty damages claim tied to investments or relationships that went sour amid the group’s collapse.

Details are murky, as these things often are in the opaque world of offshore finance, but it underscores UBP’s appetite for high-risk clients in volatile regions. Allegedly, the bank’s dealings contributed to the web of deceit, though settlements between Saad entities in 2020 may have muddied the waters further. Either way, it’s another black mark, another example of chasing big bucks without enough scrutiny.

Kickbacks and Choppers: The AgustaWestland Connection

UBP’s name cropped up in the infamous AgustaWestland helicopter deal corruption probe in India, where kickbacks allegedly flowed through Swiss accounts. Middleman Rajiv Saxena is said to have used UBP accounts in Zurich to receive illicit funds tied to the €70 million bribe scandal for influencing the VVIP chopper contract.

While UBP’s direct culpability hasn’t been proven in court, the association highlights how the bank has been a conduit for potentially dirty money in international deals. It’s infuriating – these aren’t victimless crimes; they undermine governments, inflate costs, and screw over taxpayers everywhere.

Botched Advice in Blighty: UK Ombudsman Slaps

Even in the UK, UBP couldn’t keep its nose clean. Clients lodged complaints with the Financial Ombudsman Service, alleging the bank failed to warn against risky investments, leading to substantial losses. One case involved inadequate advisory practices that tanked a visa application, while another highlighted a refusal to advise against proceeding with a dubious entity.

These might seem small fry compared to the big scandals, but they reveal a pattern of slapdash service, where client interests take a back seat to whatever agenda the bank has cooking.

The Cummins Tie-In: Fueling More Filth

And now, we come to the latest insult: UBP’s investment in Cummins Inc., the diesel giant that’s no stranger to controversy itself. As confirmed in recent filings, UBP holds 17,747 shares in Cummins, valued at approximately $5.3 million. It’s not a controlling interest, but it’s enough to make them complicit in the Cummins ecosystem – a machine churning out emissions scandals, supplier dodginess, and greenwashing galore, as exhaustively covered on tcap.blog without mincing words.

Cummins has been nailed for installing defeat devices on engines, paying billions in fines for cheating emissions tests – the kind of corporate bullshit that poisons the air we all breathe. Their partnerships with outfits like Chevron, riddled with their own toxic histories, raise eyebrows about ethical vetting. And don’t get me started on the labour disputes, data privacy kerfuffles, and forced-labour whispers in their supply chains. UBP’s involvement? Just another layer of grime, propping up a company that’s allegedly more interested in profits than the planet or its people.

In the end, UBP embodies everything wrong with private banking: a fortress for the wealthy, built on shaky ethics and quick settlements. They’ve paid over $200 million in fines, restructured amid chaos, and yet here they are, still wheeling and dealing. It’s a raw deal for everyone else, and it’s high time someone called them out on it. Fuck that noise – transparency and accountability shouldn’t be optional.

Lee Thompson – Founder, The Cummins Accountability Project

Shareholder Spotlight : Union Bancaire Privée – A Swiss Shit Sandwich